sparklepaws

On Christmas Eve, the fat old gent prepares his present sack. He dons his uniform and hoists the bag upon his back. For on this night, just once a year, he heads off as he should, To call on kids and find out who's been bad and who's been good. He doesn't use the chimney, he prefers an unchained door. He's great at jimmying a lock, he creeps across the floor. With silent tread, he tiptoes to put presents IN his bag For he's the Christmas burglar, and his sack is labelled "SWAG". This year his sack was heavy, he'd collected quite a haul. He'd eighteen dolls already and a lovely basketball. He snaffled Jimmy's roller skates, but as he

It's Christmas time, the church bells chime, And Santa's sleigh is laden With Barbies, Bratz and dancing mats. (The elves, we promise, made 'em.) His beard is long, his belly fat, He wears his fur-trimmed coat and hat (Of Coke-brand red, or so it's said, but let's not think of that). With bulging sack of plastic goods, On every Christmas Eve He squeezes down the chimneys Of the kids who don't believe. Whilst down below - I'm sure you know - They're all asleep through stress From chores and present-buying To make Christmas a success. Was this what Jesus thought of As he lay there in his stable? (Although he was a baby, s

To Laura, new mother Oh Laura dear, it's really such a blast To meet your darling baby boy at last! And now I'm here I just can't wait to see If he's as cute as I've supposed he'll be... And look at you - you're looking great; Maternal glow, no baby weight... You've totally got back your figure Of course your bum's not any bigger! And here's the lovely little chap - Erm, yes - I'd like him on my lap... But, bless his heart, he's sound asleep, So I'll stay here, without a peep. Just look at his tiny, shiny nose, His ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes! You've knitted a bonnet - and isn't it nice? And look! He's got his mummy's e

Long ago, when I was very old, And Death's chill shadow whispered on my cheek; I craved the fabled draft that turns to gold Both men and metals base and grey and weak. And when, at last, I brewed a single vial Of panacea, shimmering and clear; I gulped it, hoping - for a little while - The shade that watched my back might disappear. Oh, how I lived, my vital youth restored! Oh, how I shone with passion, love and lust! But those I loved grew old and grey and bored Of reckless youth, and soon were nought but dust. Alone, I sought the shadow at my side, my erstwhile friend; but even Death had died.